Fall In Love For All The Right Reasons

With all of my dilemmas in my love life I am somewhat grateful that I am not in the situation of a dear friend of mine. But I also somewhat envy her as well.

My friend is in her late 20s – early 30s and is single. She is an amazing person but has never been able to find a person worth having a standing relationship with. She is very smart, has a career that she is doing more with everyday, owns her own house and drives a car that is fully paid off. Not to mention that she is pretty, fun, witty, soulful and just has a good soul.

The men she has been attracted to are clearly not the men for her. They are either idiots that can’t realize what they have in front of them, morons that just want to sleep with every woman in the city or just plain being stupid.

So after a long conversation from what stemmed from a man that she had a crush on finally introduced her to his “exclusive” girlfriend (this man told my friend that he never dated women exclusively). She was thinking of trying Match.com or the Yahoo personals one more time. I suggested eHarmony. For some reason I am drawn to how they pair people up. It is much more than just a picture. Trust me, I have dated a few men off of Match.com and has some great dates and had some awful dates because that person and I had nothing in common with one another. A lot of awkward pauses, uncomfortable dinners and of course no second date.

I was always wondering why I went to such a place as Match.com. Why choose a man based solely on his looks? It is somewhat comical though now that I look back on it. There was always those guys that showed up that really didn’t look like their picture (the date was pretty much over for me right than and there as I consider that false advertising). There were the ones that I formed friendships with instead of relationships but than wanted to be “fuck buddies”. Ummm, no, that is why you are a friend, because I don’t want to sleep with you because sleeping with you would complicate things. Than there are the ones that you date. Your go out and have a great time with and than one day just realize that something isn’t right or it isn’t going to work out for some reason.

I had two of those from Match.com. I ended one and the guy ended the other. The one I ended, he was the perfect Southern gentleman. He was originally from Memphis, went to school in Florida, his mom owned a horse farm in Kentucky and he was a senior engineer at a very reputable company. What went wrong? He would talk to me, about me, in the third person and after a mere 6 weeks of dating he told me he loved me. I couldn’t deal with that with coming off a 3 year relationship just a couple months earlier. I was out there to get my feet wet and get back into the game, not have the first guy I really dated afterwards fall in love with me. My second one was WOW! That is the best word that I can figure out to describe him. Very handsome, metro sexual, loved to have a great time, was always the life of the party, dressed well, was an athlete. The thing that damn near made my heart jump out of my chest one day is when he locked us out of his condo and he figured out that his sliding glass door was unlocked. I asked him how the hell we were going to get up there because it was on the second floor. He took two steps (not running) jumped, grabbed the balcony with one hand and pulled himself up. Yep, do anything to me after I saw that! Turns out that he wanted a trophy wife and I had too many opinions about everything for that to work out.

So before I get too off the subject, I guided my friend to eHarmony. She told me that the commercials always freaked her out but I talked her into trying it anyway. After all, this isn’t based on looks but things that you both have in common and you will find things to talk about. I think that was the thing that sealed the deal because this woman loves great conversation.

After signing up and going through everything that she had to go through, she already has 5 people who want to further communicate with her! I am so excited for her. Hopefully she will meet these people and really start expanding her circle. Isn’t that is what it is all about?

So in a way, I wouldn’t want to have to be out back on the dating scene again. Honestly, I was never that good at it and I let my emotions control me. I had given up on dating and was very comfortable with being single for a long time when I met my significant other. But I do envy her as well. The excitement of meeting new people and finding out what you have in common with them and on that very special occasion having a spark between the two of you, even if it is just temporary. Because in life, isn’t everything?